is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
