I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
