I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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