He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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