Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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