i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
