It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
