I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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