in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
