its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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