I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
