don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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