...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Nicole vs. Life
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
