I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
