I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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