Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
