Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
