Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
