He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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