u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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