Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
