I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
