So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
