well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How external is "for external use only"?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
