by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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