I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
