Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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