it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
