with your own penis?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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