I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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