Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
