so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
