peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
