Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
