Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
