She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
