How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
