i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
