Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
