so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
