every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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