I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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