I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
