what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
