Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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