So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
