How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
