bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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