Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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