I want to walk on stilts...naked
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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