Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she pinky promised me she was 18
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You need a sexual gate keeper
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
